“‘Twas the Night Before Christmas at Protein Arsenal!”

Here’s a fun Christmas-themed story from Protein Arsenal, inspired by ’Twas the Night Before Christmas:

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the store,
Not a shaker was stirring, not even a pour.
The gym bags were hung by the dumbbells with care,
In hopes that pure gains soon would be there.

Mark, the store owner, was nestled with pride,
Dreaming of products his shelves did provide.
With Dymatize ISO100 stacked in a row,
And Mutant ISO Surge for the lifters to grow. https://proteinarsenal.com/protein/

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
Mark sprang from his chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the doorway, he flew like a flash,
Flung open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the tubs of the fresh protein line,
Gave the luster of gains to his Protein Arsenal sign. https://proteinarsesnal.com
When what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and fourteen brands in gear.

With a buff driver so lively and quick,
Mark knew in a moment it must be Saint Lift!
More rapid than deadlifts his brands they all came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

“Now Dymatize! Now Mutant! Now Magna Quattro!
On Axe & Sledge Farm Fed, you steal the show!
To the top of the macros! To the top of the whey!
Dash, Black Magic, and Core, this is your day!”

“On Gorilla Mind Mode! On Precision by Hi-Tech!
On Jocko Molk and Protizyme, for every rep check!
To the top of the gym rack! To the top of the wall!
Now mix away! Shake away! Blend away all!” https://proteinarsenal.com/protein/

As pre-workout powders before lifters ignite, https://proteinarsenal.com/pre-workout/
The protein brands soared through the holiday night.
Up to the rooftop, the tubs they all flew,
With a sleigh full of gains—and Saint Lift too.

And then, in a twinkling, Mark heard from the roof,
The clinking of shaker cups and protein-packed proof.
As he drew in his head and was turning around,
Down the chimney Saint Lift came with a bound.

He was dressed all in spandex, from his head to his toes,
With a bag full of products for lifters and pros.
The tubs of Nutrex ISOFIT gleamed in the light,
And Redcon1 MRE Lite was the star of the night.

Rule One Premium Isolate sat snug in his pack,
While Proformax ProWheyMax held the stack.
His biceps like boulders, his traps were insane,
Mark marveled and whispered, “This man knows his gains!”

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
Filling the shelves with a protein-rich perk.
He nodded at Mark and then gave him a wink,
“This is the whey to keep them in sync.”

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a post-workout missile.
But Mark heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy lifting to all, and to all a strong night!”